The web 2.0 and the tong bearer

"Web 2.0", I said as I turned the wors.

It was that time again. The usual tribe was drinking around a fire and pretending to braai.

Smoke was everywhere.

I had the tongs in hand, and protocol dictates that I have the right to introduce a new topic of conversation. The guy with the tongs have special status. Chairman of the braai.

Mostly he won't talk much because he will be too busy pretending not to burn the meat. The tong handler will pretend to be following the conversation too - all the while gauging who is slurring the most - because that poor slob will receive the tongs (and therefore the blame) just before dish-up time.

I had my victim marked and I was getting tired of the conversation whining about the All Blacks winning the Tri-Nations. Again.

So I introduced a new topic for conversation: Web 2.0

I did not have to look up from the coals to know they were all starring at me now, waiting for me to say something that made vaguely more sense. My victim's meat was nice and "crispy". His wife is not going to be impressed.

A diversion is called for: "Don't tell me you guys never heard about web 2.0" I said and, in a slow but smooth movement, turned around and shoved the tongs into my victims hand, pretending to hang on to it - as if I am reluctant to let go. His fist closed over the tool. Got him.

"You guys know what the web is, right", I said and let go of the tongs. The victim clutched it and immediately went over to the fire to turn some meat. Poor bastard.

"Duh!", challenged the number one technophobe in reply. I thought this guy was still afraid of automatic toasters, and here he is bragging about the web. Cool.

"Well", I said and watched my victim out of the corner of my eye. He was frowning - he must have noticed his meat was burnt. I continued smoothly: "the web itself was one of the greatest inventions of our time...", the pause draws several sagely nods.

"You guys know about 3G, the new generation of cell phones and services, right?" Lots of nods. "Now the term '3G' means the 3rd generation of cell phone services. In much the same way, the first static web pages could be called Web 1.0 and now, with fundamentally and dramatically improved functions, we can talk of the Web 2.0". Arched eyebrows all around.

I saw panic in my victim's eyes. His predicament started to dawn on him.

"Ok, let me explain this better: In the beginning all web sites consisted of pages of text - cross linked to other pages to create (spider) webs of information.

It was not long before scripting languages made it possible to have web pages produce dynamic content: in other words they could retrieve information from databases to show you the weather in your particular city, or the latest stock prices, or the top news stories.
Your interaction with these pages are based on a request / reply model. For instance: you type a search phrase into Google and it replies with a list of sites. You say you live in Cape Town and you get a weather forecast for that city.

Request - reply."

I started to circle the braai to the other side. Apparently to get the smoke out of my eyes, but actually to put some distance between me and my victim. He has since recovered from his panic state and took on the demeanour of a hunting cat. He was on the prowl for another victim...and it was not going to be me. Behind him I could see the girls setting the table...his time was running out and he knew it.

"Anyway", I continued, "we used the web. We interacted with it, but we could not change it. Consider that for a second: we interacted with the web in much the same way we interact with a TV, for instance. We change channels to get the information we want, but we are still fundamentally bound by what is on offer. We cannot change the shows on the TV. In the same way we use the web, but we could not directly change it."

"Eeeeek!", My victim screamed like a 12 year old girl who just found a turantula crawling on her cell phone. "Aaagghhh!", he was grabbing his tong-hand with his left. It looked like he was in agony.

Not too shabby.

"Ice, quick!", he said, and shoved the tong into the hands of the guy standing next to him", and quickly made off to the kitchen. He just missed the girls coming over to the braai to fetch the meat. Pure brilliance. The latest victim does not even know he is a victim - yet.

"You know, he is such a girl!", the latest victim smiled and automatically turned to the braai to assert his authority as The Tong Bearer. He froze in mid movement when he saw the burnt steak. Just then the girls arrived and shoved a dish for the meat into his hands. Checkmate. Game, set and match.

I felt sorry for him, so I continued my speech to give him a few more minutes to try and find a way out:

"Web 2.0 is not a new product or software or a machine. It is simply a short-hand way to refer to the new generation of web sites which not only enable ordinary web users to change the web - they actively encourage it.

Take our web hosting clients for example: We provide them with free software on their web servers that enable them to add pages of content, forms, product listings, specs and a zillion other things without having the faintest clue about FTP or HTML or any of that." The technophobe nods enthusiastically: he is editing his own web page for his company and he still does not know what HTML is. His web site is actually generating new business for him...and he can barely type.

"To take the example of our content management system a bit further: The technology behind the software is pretty intense, but from a user's perspective it's pretty much as easy as falling out of a tree...or burning meat at a braai. If you want to change something on the site, you log in with a user name and password...and click on the thing you want to edit and simply re-type it. Press save and it is published to the Internet. If you can spell 'Internet' you can do it."

I noticed the girls have started to dish up and suppressed a smile. There will be proverbial blood. The second victim looked a bit pale. The first victim decided to stay in the kitchen in order to solidify his alibi.

I continued: "Now think about this for a second: with zero technical knowledge you can publish information to the web. Not only that, but you do not have to worry about security or operating system upgrades or the appropriate hardware to use. If you have a web browser (even if it is on your cell phone), then you can publish or update your site.

From an initial beginning where our interaction with the web was based on a request-response model, now we can actually change information too. This is the premise of the 'new' web. Enabling people to interact and UPDATE the web. Examples of these sites are Facebook, Twitter, eBay, Blogger and many, more.

Taking that a bit further: almost all software is moving to the web, because the group of new technologies makes it practical to use word processors, spreadsheets, email programs, etc that are web based: Small (java) scripts download automatically and invisibly when required - all you see is a responsive, feature rich software program...for free.

The web 2.0 is the start of 'cloud computing' where most of your information and computing power is somewhere inside the Internet 'cloud'. You don't have to worry about upgrades, backups, security, buying more powerful computers or understanding how to install and maintain software. Best of all: your data is everywhere where you have access to the Internet.

The web is more interactive than ever before and it is growing and changing at an exponential rate - because ordinary people are pumping millions of new facts and observations into the 'system' every day."

"Ag no!", One of the girls protested loudly. All activity stopped and she got everyone's full attention: "Look how Carl burnt the meat! Nee man!"

That was the end of the lecture. To be continued at a later date.

"It wasn't me - it was Waldo!", he protested in a small, girl-like voice, tongs in hand.

Idjit.

"Yea right!", I said loudly enough for the girls to hear, and made an exaggerated wink in his general direction, smiling broadly.

Checkmate dude.

It is such a blessing to have dimwits for friends.